职场的领导法则：教你如何与讨厌的人共事 - 七丽女性网
职场的领导法则：教你如何与讨厌的人共事
来源：互联网
跟讨厌的人一起做事？这是个让人头疼的话题，不过工作容不得你挑选，面对讨厌的同事如果你想置之不理可是大错特错，特别是如果你在公司还是领导人物的话更加应该知道如何与讨厌的人共事。今天的职场法则小编为你解密，快来看看吧！
讨厌类型一：油泥鳅非暴力不合作，完不成任务就推卸责任 给你支几招：与泥鳅型的人协作时，每个人负责的部分必须明确，时间、内容等要求要讲 清楚，最好“愉快”地制定一个流程表打印下来，以此为证据。如果他们真的遇到问题，除非严重影响到整个任务完成的期限，否则不要把事情主动揽过来。养成做 工作记录的习惯，如果他们试图把过错推给你，你只需按照自己的工作流程做解释就够了。讨厌类型二：祥林嫂总是抱怨自己的不幸，传播消极情绪影响他人 给你支几招：花几分钟时间听他们说，表示自己的同情，再帮助他们看到正面的东西；或是把焦点拉回到工作上，很实际地问他们：“对啊，有些事就是不合理，可是我们现在能怎么做？我们有其他的机会吗?”如此引导他思考解决方案，而不是只有抱怨。如果跟他们没有什么交情，也无法招架或鼓励他们，不妨刻意避开，久而久之，他们得不到共鸣，就不会再来找你了。讨厌类型三：爱斗鸡竞争意识太强，会让你感到太多敌意而束手束脚 给你支几招：协同做事时有竞争，这是必然，但有一种人，即使在协作过程中，也处处要和你比较，无论是奖金还是功劳。或者认为自己高你一筹，芝麻大小的事都会以誓死扞卫真理的气概与你针锋相对，气势咄咄逼人，让你感到束手束脚。如果是良性的竞争，不妨从提高自己的角度，正面接受，且与之互动及学习。如果竞争一直让自己感到困扰或不安，万一对方斗性很强，不妨先退让一步。那种脑子里没有双赢概念、只想到自己要拿到全部的人，无法在职场长期生存，早晚会受到其他人的排斥。
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　　《史记&廉颇蔺相如列传》记载有这么一个小故事：战国时赵国舍人蔺相如奉命出使秦国，不辱使命，完璧归赵，所以被封了上大夫；又陪同赵王赴秦王设下的渑池会，使赵王免受秦王侮辱。赵王为表彰蔺相如的功劳，封蔺相如为上卿。老将廉颇认为自己战无不胜，攻无不克，蔺相如只不过是一介文弱书生，只有口舌之功却比他官大，对此心中很是不服，所以屡次对人说：&以后让我见了他，必定会羞辱他。&rdquo......
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如何巧妙应对讨厌的人？
英语学习杂志
在这个世界上，一万个人就有一万种性格。我们都希望生活在人人相亲相爱的理想世界里，然而现实中我们难免会遇到一些我们不喜欢的人。面对讨厌的人，我们该如何与之相处呢？聪明人自有妙招。学好这八条，你的世界也许就会豁然开朗。
By David K. William
毛川 选 王维 注
In a perfect world, each person we interact with would be nice, kind, considerate , mindful, generous, and more. They would get our jokes and we would get theirs. We would all thrive in a convivial atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or maligned.
However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we (admittedly ) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all—but expect us to laugh at all theirs.
You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who ruffles you all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid eating lunch with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet.
According to Robert Sutton (a professor of management science at Stanford University), it’s neither possible—nor even ideal—to build a team comprised entirely of people you’d invite to a backyard barbecue.
That’s why smart people make the most out of people they don’t like. Here’s how they do it.
1. They accept that they are not going to like everyone.
Sometimes we get caught in the trap of thinking that we are nice people. We think that we are going to like everyone we interact with—even when that’s not going to happen. It’s inevitable you will encounter difficult people who oppose what you think. Smart people know this. They also recognize that conflicts or disagreements are a result of differences in values.
That person you don’t like is not intrinsically a bad human. The reason you don’t get along is because you have different values, and that difference creates judgment. Once you accept that not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone because of a difference in values, the realization can take the emotion out of the situation. That may even result in getting along better by agreeing to disagree.
2. They bear with (not ignore or dismiss ) those they don’t like.
Sure, you may cringe at his constant criticism, grit your teeth at her lousy jokes, or shake your head at the way he hovers around her all the time, but feeling less than affectionate to someone might not be the worst thing. “From a performance standpoint, liking the people you manage too much is a bigger problem than liking them too little,” says Sutton.
“You need people who have different points of view and aren’t afraid to argue,” Sutton adds. “They are the kind of people who stop the organization from doing stupid things.” It may not be easy, but bear with them. It is often those who challenge or provoke us that prompt us to new insights and help propel the group to success. Remember, you are not perfect either, yet people still tolerate you.
3. They treat those they don’t like with civility.
Whatever your feelings are for someone, that person will be highly attuned to your attitude and behavior, and will likely reflect it back to you. If you are rude to them, they will likely throw away all decorum and be rude to you too. The onus, therefore, is on you to remain fair, impartial, and composed.
“Cultivating a diplomatic poker face is important. You need to be able to come across as professional and positive,” says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist. This way you won’t stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do.
4. They check their own expectations.
It’s not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. However, that’s not realistic. “People have ingrained personality traits that are going to largely determine how they react,” says Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD (psychology professor at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, New Jersey). “Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.”
If a person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time, adjust your expectations appropriately. This way you’ll be psychologically prepared and their behavior will not catch you by surprise. Smart people do this all the time. They’re not always surprised by a dis-likable person’s behavior.
5. They turn inwards and focus on themselves.
No matter what you try, some people can still really get under our skin . It’s important that you learn how to handle your frustration when dealing with someone who annoys you. Instead of thinking about how irritating that person is, focus on why you are reacting the way you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we don’t like in ourselves. Besides, they didn’t create the button, they’re only pushing it.
Pinpoint the triggers that might be complicating your feelings. You may then be able to anticipate, soften, or even alter your reaction. Remember: it’s easier to change your perceptions , attitude, and behavior than to ask someone to be a different kind of person.
6. They pause and take a deep breath.
Some personality characteristics may always set you off, says Kathleen Bartle (a California-based conflict consultant). Maybe it’s the colleague who regularly misses deadlines, or the guy who tells off-color jokes. Take a look at what sets you off and who’s pushing your buttons. That way, Bartle says, you can prepare for when it happens again.
According to her, “If you can pause and get a grip on your adrenaline pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain, you’ll be better able to have a conversation and to skip over the judgment.” A deep breath and one big step back can also help to calm you down and protect you from overreaction, thereby allowing you to proceed with a slightly more open mind and heart.
7. They voice their own needs.
If certain people constantly tick you off , calmly let them know that their manner of behavior or communication style is a problem for you. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When you…I feel…” formula. For example, Cacaiola advises you to tell that person, “When you cut me off in meetings, I feel like you don’t value my contributions.” Then, take a moment and wait for their response.
You may find that the other person didn’t realize you weren’t finished speaking, or your colleague was so excited about your idea that she enthusiastically jumped into the conversation.
8. They allow space between them.
If all else fails, smart people allow space between themselves and those they don’t like. Excuse yourself and go on your way. If at work, move to another room or sit at the other end of the conference table. With a bit of distance, perspective, and empathy, you may be able to come back and interact both with those people you like and those you don’t like as if unfazed .
Of course, everything would be easier if we could wish people we don’t like away. Too bad we all know that’s not how life works.
Vocabulary
1. considerate: 体贴的，考虑周全的。
2. thrive: 兴旺，茁壮成长；convivial: 欢乐的，愉快的；cross: 生气的；maligned: 恶意的，敌意的，后文malign为动词，意为“诽谤，污蔑”。
3. admittedly: 无可否认地。
4. ruffle: 触怒，使烦恼。
5. 斯坦福大学管理学教授罗伯特o萨顿说，一个完全由你愿意邀请到后院烧烤的人组建起来的团队（即团队中全是你喜欢的人）既不可能，也不切实际。comprise: 包含，由……组成。
6. inevitable: 不可避免的；encounter: 遇到；oppose: 反对。
7. intrinsically: 本质上地。
8. dismiss: 不理会，不接受。
9. 当然，你也许会因为他频繁的批评而感到难堪，对她差劲的笑话咬牙切齿，或者对他整天围着她转感到不屑，但是不喜欢别人也许并不是什么坏事。cringe: 感到难堪；grit one’s teeth: 咬牙切齿；lousy: 差劲的，糟糕的；hover: 徘徊；affectionate: 亲切的，充满爱意的。
10. provoke: 激怒；prompt: 激励，促使；propel: 推动，激励。
11. civility: 礼貌，礼仪。
12. attune to: 使协调，使合拍。
13. decorum: 礼貌，得体。
14. onus: 责任；impartial: 公平的，公正的；composed: 沉着的，冷静的。
15. diplomatic: 老练的，有策略的；poker face: 面无表情，指喜怒不形于色。
16. come across: 给人……印象。
17. stoop to: 屈尊，堕落到……。
18. unrealistic: 不切实际的，不实在的。
19. ingrained: 根深蒂固的，原有的。
20. get under one’s skin: 使人生气，令人讨厌。
21. irritating: 令人恼怒的。
22. 此处使用短语push one’s button，意为“惹恼某人”。
23. pinpoint: 查明，精确找到；trigger: 诱因；complicate: 使恶化。
24. perception: 感觉，看法。
25. set off: 激起，引起，此处指“惹恼”；consultant: 顾问。
26. off-color: 低级庸俗的，有伤风化的。
27. get a grip on: 了解，掌控；adrenaline: 肾上腺素；pump: 泵，此处指分泌。
28. tick sb. off: 使某人气恼。
29. accusatory: 指责的，控诉的；formula: 方案，方法。
30. cut sb. off: 打断某人讲话。
31. unfazed: 不苦恼的。
（来源：英语学习杂志 编辑：丹妮）
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Email: .cn遇到讨厌的同事怎么办？ - 外贸心情 -
福步外贸论坛(FOB Business Forum) |中国第一外贸论坛
我是夏天早晨的一滴露珠
积分 21470
福步币 87 块
阅读权限 80
遇到讨厌的同事怎么办？
一个同事很令人讨厌，但是公司里很宠她的，所以总是盛气凌人的，很没人缘的。因为工作的关系，总是要和她打交道。有时，被她气的一天都心情不好。晦气，一天的美好心情被她又破坏了。
福步币 6 块
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要学会和不同类型的同事相处，心情好坏在自我控制！
靜靜dē ﹏..．.......
积分 41437
福步币 69 块
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如果她故意想看你生气呢。。。。（这样说好象她有点BT，呵呵）
如果你不因为她而生气呢，我猜她会觉得自己这样做很没意思，呵呵
开心一点，气死她。。。。
(淘气包队长云云)
孤单是一个人的狂欢
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帖子 16989
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为什么她那么讨厌，公司里的人还宠她啊，长得PP还是怎么回事呢。
要只是老板宠她，你们都讨厌她的话，估计她做不了什么怪，时间长就觉得自己没意思了，最受不了的就是靠卖弄色相计老板欢心的人了。
福步币 12 块
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来自 fu jian
我也有类似的情况啊，那个同事整天自以为是的样子。她还私底下和我说老板和她出差的时候对她有多好等等！！真不知道她是居心何在啊，透露这种和老板暧昧的隐私给我听，是想告诉我她有多种要还是怎么的？？？还整天装的很纯情的样子说自己20好几了还没恋爱过，不知道老板的暗示是什么意思！晕了~~~~~
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楼主， 不用烦恼，与她交道纯属工作，只要工作做好就行！
(淘气包队长云云)
孤单是一个人的狂欢
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帖子 16989
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原帖由 candy2005czq 于
10:47 发表
我也有类似的情况啊，那个同事整天自以为是的样子。她还私底下和我说老板和她出差的时候对她有多好等等！！真不知道她是居心何在啊，透露这种和老板暧昧的隐私给我听，是想告诉我她有多种要还是怎么的？？？还整天 ... 那你们老板娘上哪儿了？
我根本不敢和老板谈除了工作以外的任何事，因为总感觉后面有一双眼睛盯着我。。。
福步币 12 块
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来自 浙江省
凡正只是工作上的同事了管她呢
不要因为她影响自己的心情
福步币 12 块
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来自 温暖之州
抛开一切，和同事在一起只是工作关系而已，想的简单点。
我是夏天早晨的一滴露珠
积分 21470
福步币 87 块
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因为她的关系财务老是找我麻烦。她接的定单，每次都要降低价格。但她给财务的是原来的。到我这里变了，财务肯定找我了。没办法了。
只能是自我调节心情了！
福步币 12 块
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做好自己份内的事，她愿意怎么样就怎么样，别跟她生气，打交道的时候自己的目的达到了就好，没必要跟她犯气，不然得意的反倒是她。
我是夏天早晨的一滴露珠
积分 21470
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谢谢！我会吸取大家的建议的。
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遇到这种不要脸又器张的人，是比较晕．
如果她是靠自己能力做事的，受点气倒还正常．
但她说话中就显示老板是她靠山，明摆她就有问题．ＬＵ还是忍一忍吧．
大家出来做事不多不少都会受点气的，没必要和那种下三滥计较．
等哪天，老板不是她靠山了，她就知道错了．
看她不顺眼，就尽量只工作接触就好了．不要和她吵，因为现在老板还是向着她的．
我是夏天早晨的一滴露珠
积分 21470
福步币 87 块
阅读权限 80
一代皇帝一代臣呀！
只有尽量躲她了。惹不起还躲得起了！
福贸台州区域经理
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哎,为什么大家都碰到这样的人呢?我也碰到了,人特嚣张,仗着老板宠着,谁都不放在眼里.真讨厌.
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